my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize