Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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