Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
