the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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