hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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