I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
