so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she told me i tasted like america
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
