Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
