i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
