Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
