it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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