I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
