I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
