it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
