margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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