They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
