What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
