Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
