I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
