alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
