508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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