I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
