i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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