But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
