i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Less talking, more tequila
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
