i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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