Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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