So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
