Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
