You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
