IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
