Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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