why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
