I'm jealous of your bromance
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't been this sober since birth.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
