We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
