he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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