alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
