Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
