Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
