I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
