Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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