he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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