So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
