Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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