I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
