Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
