So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
