I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
