OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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