You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
