SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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