So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
