It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
