I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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