He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
