So drunk its hurt
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
