final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
